How to Write Good

Category: Writers Block

Post 1 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Monday, 29-May-2006 16:30:34

How to Write Good
Frank L. Visco
Vice-president and Senior Copywriter at USAdvertising.

My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren't necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: ``I hate
quotations. Tell me what you know.''
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13. Don't be redundant; don't more use words than necessary; it's highly
superfluous.
14. Profanity sucks.
15. Be more or less specific.
16. Understatement is always best.
17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
23. Who needs rhetorical questions?

Post 2 by Devious_Britches (smarty pants) on Monday, 29-May-2006 19:42:45

Hmmm I think I nearly have broke all of those rules. Guess I'm not a good writer but never have claimed to be. smile

Post 3 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Tuesday, 30-May-2006 8:24:56

LOL! Brilliant.

Post 4 by The Roman Battle Mask (Making great use of my Employer's time.) on Tuesday, 30-May-2006 9:39:37

We need a writing class for engineering majors at my school.

Post 5 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Tuesday, 30-May-2006 10:01:16

No, it's a well known fact that engineers can't write, they just drive trains.

Post 6 by wildebrew (We promised the world we'd tame it, what were we hoping for?) on Tuesday, 30-May-2006 10:29:55

;) Avoid exaggerations! he's in the advertizing industry! loose 9 pounds in a week anyone?